My Best Christmas with my Mom
This sharing is about one of the last Christmas holidays I had with my mom before she passed away. More on that later.
You must know that I have a to say the least difficult relationship with my mom. It started right before my birth. My grandma was dying and my mom couldn’t be with her mother because she was about to become a mom herself. She resented this situation because she had unfinished business with her mom (!).
The next challenging thing was when my baby brother came along 3 years after I was born. My mom felt that she had to protect him from his somewhat wild sister (me), and the way she thought would do the trick is to burn me down to the ground all the time. I seriously thought something was wrong with me, but after years of soul searching, I concluded that something was wrong with my mom.
All my childhood, I just couldn’t get along with mom, couldn’t agree with her and rebelled her a big headache. But when I had my life together and everything went smoothly and well, my mom her time had come. This opened my eyes for the temporary nature of her life time and our still strained relationship. It was time to change this, and I was not going to wait for her to make the first move. Or rather, I figured she couldn’t make the first move since her ailment was a failing heart. Emotions were just too much for mom and inside that proud woman, lay a broken little heart. So I decided to make a first move to improve our relationship.
December came along and I started making plans for Christmas Day. I brainstormed hard and long on how to have a harmonious family get together. Lots of things wouldn’t have worked, but one thing would stand a chance. This turned out a genius move! Wanna know what happened?
Besides the usual family members, I invited a very best friend of my mom for our Christmas dinner. Of course this didn’t go without the appropriate fuzz (where-will-the-dinner-be questions, OMG that is so much travelling time! and special dietary requests!), but she committed to attend the whole thing.
To make a long story short: we had an amazing Christmas together. Looking back and taking the pictures out of the folder, I only see a very happy mom and a very cheerful bunch of people.
This is to be treasured.
How can you have more happiness and more peace of mind, what is the key to this?
For this holiday season, take it step by step and start with the major relationship: the one with your daughter. Learn these valuable relationship skills and be forever done with relationship stress!
Happy holidays and much love from Mother-Daughter-Relationship Problems Tips.