Valentine’s Day – Expressing Love

Rose

Valentine’s Day – Expressing Love

Expressing your love to a dear one, is always good, it feels good.

And if LOVE feels over the top, just expressing that you care, feels just as good.

But do we always have to buy presents when we wish to express care and love?

Well, one could say that talk is cheap, and buying a gift is to put the money where the mouth is.

On the other hand one may find that expressing love and care is about intentions, it is also about feelings. It expresses NOTHING if this is NOT genuinely coming from the heart.

The physical gift is just the gesture to emphasize the feeling of love, coming from the heart, but is not necessary.

What is necessary to convey expressions of love and care?

That it feels right.

That it feels strongly.

That is feels sincerely.

That it is REAL.

Oh and while we are at it, let’s repeat it every day in new ways. Because it feels so good.

Expressing love!

My Mom is My Sweetheart

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My Mom is My Sweetheart

Its wintertime and I got one of those nasty colds for some days now. I’m not happy with this as it sets me back in all the stuff I need to do. But in another way I can’t say it’s bad to take some downtime.

So I’m on the couch with hot tea and orange juice not having an appetite for two days now.

I do another miserable attempt trying to catch up on my reading, when I give up and doze off.

Suddenly my thoughts go to when I was sick when I was a kid.

Of course no school and I remembered my Mom taking care of me.

She bought me tea, orange juice, biscuits and bowl of wonderful vanilla custard, the one creamy custard that I love.

She for sure would have been late for her work, but she wanted to make sure I was taken care of and that I was eating something.

Must have been hard to have me as her daughter, I suddenly realize with a smile.

But she was and is a great Mom and I dearly love her!

My Mom is my sweetheart!

See more of my writings…

My Story – Because of the Loss of my Mom’s Love for Me

SunflowerMotherDaughter

My Story – Because of the Loss of my Mom’s Love for Me

My mom passed away a couple of years ago during the Winter time. I was very sad and went through a lot of grieving for months on end. This was a big loss! Often I woke up tired and was exhausted by late afternoon. Didn’t feel a whole lot of joy or even a neutral state of mind. My tears dried up after a while and I felt I didn’t even have the strength anymore to cry. My friends took me for long walks to talk, but I didn’t have the energy to talk a whole lot. Call it depression by sheer exhaustion.

Then came Spring and I was still not my normal self. Actually, I gave up becoming my normal self all together at that point. Somehow, I started writing in my journal. I wanted to get clear on why I was so sad about my mom’s passing. What is was that I experienced as a loss. My mom and me were usually arguing and battling it out in some sort of conflict, why in the world would I miss this, I was wondering.

By writing a lot of pages in my journal, it dawned on me that I truly felt that I had lost the chance of make up for all the arguments we had, for saying that I was sorry, for the moments we could have enjoyed love between us, instead of negativities. For the loss of my mom’s love for me.

In the process of writing I found comfort and a peace of mind. Things started to make sense to me, somehow. I kept writing and writing and within two years, I published a website specially about mother-daughter relationships. I felt I did my mom proud with this!

In no time other women started sending me their stories. Touching stories, painful stories for of suffering, dramatic stories, and cute and heartwarming stories too. I was truly amazed by what women experience in their mother-daughter relationship and that they were willing to share their stories, some very intimate stories.

Out of wanting to give tips to mothers and daughters who struggle to improve their mother-daughter relationship, the concept of writing an eBook was born. The eBook was published in 2013.

Its stunning what can grow out of this grieving and sense of loss and it is equally stunning how sharing with love heals all this pain coming from this loss.

I am truly grateful for being able to contribute to improving mother-daughter relationships!

See my writings…

The Magic between Mother and Daughter

The Magic between Mother and Daughter

A mother and daughter were walking in the mountains. There was a quiet silence between them as they hiked for several hours now. Then the mother tripped over a rock and she fell and started screaming. “Ouchhhh, ouch, that hurtssss!”

And the mountain echoed back: “Ouchhhh ouch that hurtssss!”

The mother started rubbing her sore knee and the painful look on her face made it clear that she had hurt herself badly.

The echo of the mountains didn’t amuse her. She became angry and yelled at the top of her lungs almost like a small child: “Why did that happen, that sucks!

Again the mountain echoed back “Why did that happen, that suckssss!

The daughter had been observing her mother in silence and with concern while her mother was rubbing her knee. Hearing the echo the daughter started smiling and in a loud voice called out:

Mom, let me comfort your pain, I love you!

And the mountains echoed back: “Mom, let me comfort your pain, I love you!!

Mother and daughter looked at each other. The pain melted away and both started smiling.

More on magic between Mothers and Daughters….

I Love My Mom, but….

I Love My Mom, but….

Must say that I love my Mom very much. I just don’t know how to express it and especially towards her. I am in my thirties now and go visit my parents on holidays, their birthdays or whenever there is something going on. Seeing my Mom, we somehow most of the time fall into something not short of an argument and before I know it, we start arguing again. This irritates me to no end and I really don’t know how this happens! I always somehow magically forget that it was my plan to tell her how important she is in my life and that I love her.

It is so hard to try to stick to this plan every time I see her!

This makes me so angry and I still really don’t know how this happens.

Any tips?

How about setting a goal on this, like for example:

My goal is to have less arguing when I see my Mom.

OK.

Now think of 3 actions you can do to reach this goal.

For example:

Three actions for Goal # 1: “less arguing”: *

Action 1: Deal with emotions and in particular with irritations and anger;

Action 2: Try to understand Mom’s point of view;

Action 3: Don’t take it so personally!

Best of luck and stick to your goal. Have a great relationship with your Mom!

* From the eBook: Personal Workbook for Daughters

Absolutely Fabulous Mother & Daughter Relationships!

Absolutely Fabulous Mother & Daughter Relationships!

What I think is absolutely fabulous: to be able to laugh at these messy mother-daughter-relationships!

Absolutely Fabulous!

How I changed my relationship with my mother

How I changed my relationship with my mother

All of my life, I am forty something now, I have never felt connected to my mother. As a teenager we had many nasty arguments and as I got older I just never felt I was getting any close to her. At various points in my life I just quit talking to her.

Basically my relationship with my mother is not a happy one. She is now getting older and has a heart condition. I feel guilty about our bad relationship and I feel the need to fix our strained relationship.
Then came a chance to attend a shamanic workshop. I learnt all kinds of new stuff, sweat hut, laying out stones, dancing to a drum and more. During that time I wrote in my notebook “I want a happy, caring and trusting relationship with my mother!”. After writing it I actually didn’t think much more about it. Life went on though I did feel a new sense of peace about mum.

Months after that I decided I would go and visit my mother. I had not spoken to her for about one year. But when I saw her everything between us had changed. There was no tension, no holding back. I told her about some things that happened in my life which had been difficult and she offered me hugs, love and support (mum never gave hugs previously). Never in my life had I felt this type of mother-love.

It was truly a special moment in my life!

More on healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

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