Easter Dinner with Mom

Image

Easter Dinner with Mom

 

Today my mom will visit and have dinner with us. I am excited and a little anxious at the same time. Lately, me and my mom had had bad arguments followed by a cold shoulder treatment and radio silence.

I was unhappy with this situation. Reflecting back it seems to me that our arguments were about trivial things really, but underneath these confrontations there was something else. It was about me wanting her to acknowledge me as a grown up. See, my mom sometimes treats me like I am a little girl. A silly little girl, and this annoys me to no end! So I figure, this attitude has to stop.

 

This week we have had long phone calls, like we use to have. Just chatting away about normal daily life stuff. So she agreed to come over and have dinner this Easter.

I feel I am walking on eggs shells….

 

More on Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

 

It’s Hard to Understand and Accept that My Mom has Passed Away

It’s Hard to Understand and Accept that My Mom has Passed Away

 

My Mom died 3 years ago, I remember the day very well. Shortly after her passing, by my 10 year older sister and my uncle died. I took these losses very hard and couldn’t quite grasp that this all was happening to me. Curiously, for some reason, I went through all the normal stages of grief with my sister and to a degree with my uncle, but my mom’s passing is a source of a of very intense emotions for me that just don’t seems to fade away over time.

My Mom died very suddenly and we all were in a shock when we got the news that she passed away.

Now 3 years later, I still am grieving about her. I miss her a lot. The little things we shared, phone calls, meals together, even our arguments…

 

I don’t know why and don’t understand what to do about it. People say that in time all wounds heal, but for me, thinking about my Mom and that she isn’t here anymore, brings me to tears over and over again.

 

My best friend said that I should get over it. She probably gets tired of me talking about my Mom, but I just cannot accept that Mom is gone!

 

More on healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

Where is the Love?

Image

Where is the Love?

by wondering daughter

My mom tells me she loves me and what she has done for her children to give them all they need, the sacrifices all her time and attention. I feel guilty, because although I know all this, I CAN’T feel that she loves me. Sure, I appreciate all her efforts and I know that what she is telling is true, but still, I DON’T feel loved.

Its crazy and I feel guilty about this, but its how I look at things when we are talking about love.

So where is the love????!!!

 

COMMENT:

Do you expect the love coming from your mom?

Here is something (not so) new:

The Love is within You!

 

More on love and healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

I have given up…

I have given up on my relationship with mom…

I have given up on having a relationship with my mom. I am 32 years old with 1 child of my own. I myself am an only child. I stayed with my grandma until I was about 8. My father was abusive so my mom ran away and got into a nasty divorce. I can understand some things better now that I am an adult but what I don’t understand is why she doesn’t love me. I was a pretty good kid in middle school and high school . Straight A honor student never in any trouble. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere . Not allowed to talk to boys on the phone nor date. Had my first date at 18 and it was chaperoned. Wasn’t allowed to get my nails done or wear makeup until I was 19.

EVERYTHING I did she would find fault. We argued EVERYDAY sometimes over things I didn’t even understand. Her argument was always “it’s not always about you. You have a chip on your shoulder because you make As and Bs. You are disrespectful. You like your dad better than me.

When I turned 19, I went to college out of state to be as far away from her as possible. I have my own life now.
Like I said, now I am an adult and mother of a child myself, I understand my mom better. But what I don’t understand is how a person like her can be so full of self-hate and destruction.
Isn’t it normal for human beings to seek happiness?

More on love and healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

 

 

What are mother daughter relationships about on this planet?

Image

What are mother daughter relationships about on this planet?

Say for a moment, we are from a different planet and we start reading entries of this Mother-Daughters blog. One may get the distinct impression that mother-daughter-relationships on planet Earth are all about hurt, abuse and nasty family situations. Of course we know that in reality, this is not the case. There is also a lot of warmth, love, joy and specialness going on in mother-daughter-relationships.

What we are intending to do in this blog, is to improve the mother-daughter-relationships that aren’t so great. One of the ways we are doing this, is to become aware of how mother-daughter-relationships are at the moment. We give space to mothers and to daughters to tell their story, without the socially accepted stuff, so just the way it is.

The next step is to deal with the pain, abuse distortions.

Also to refocus on the good and positive side of things: warmth, love, joy and the sweetness.

Hopefully we are able to create awareness of how the dynamics of mother-daughter-relationships can be transformed upward to more appreciation, positive expectations, contentment, love, joy and empowerment.

Enough said.

More on healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

 

 

 

How Sad Is This?!

How Sad Is This?!

I feel hurt by the way my mom treated me when I was young. She humiliated me, hit me physically when she was in a bad mood, ignored me and did whatever she felt like with no consideration of her taking care of a dependent child.

I my twenties, I left home and made sure I avoided contact with her. I am sure she called me ungrateful, rude, heartless, but I wanted another life where I don’t need to be in conflict with the people around me.

Then the news came that she was ill.

I finally gave in and went to visit her. Alas, we got into a fight because I was still mad about all the years I worked so hard as a single parent and she never once called to see how I was doing.  So I couldn’t control myself and in the heat of the moment called her bad names. 

Needless to say, she didn’t take that well and the next time she was in town to see my sisters she refused to see me and my children. 

It was her 75th birthday and she didn’t want me there. 

How sad is that?

I tried to call and say that I could bring the kids to the hotel for her to at least see the kids but my sister said she didn’t want to see me.  So now I’m not speaking to my sisters either. 

I think it’s crazy that my sisters would go along with such nonsense and not encourage my mother to have a change of heart and at least see her grandchildren if not me.

More on love and healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

Healing Embrace of Love

Image

Healing Embrace of Love

 

Get a college degree, get a good job, work the rat race, , make money, be successful, be somebody… I wonder, what is there to my life?

All this strive and still no fulfillment, because all I ever wanted is to be held by my mom in a loving embrace…but somehow I just was not able to experience this, to receive this loving embrace.

 

This week a sort of miracle happened.

On Monday, during a family visit, I held a new born baby girl. She was 12 days of age, tiny and sweet. She was content with life and apparently felt fine to be held by a complete stranger like me. What a wonderful experience!

 

On Tuesday, another gift. My best girlfriend was over and we talked about what things that recently happened in our lives. The good things and the less than good items. Of course our mothers were topics of our conversation. Unlike her mom, my mom has passed on years ago. Suddenly I felt an intense emotion coming up. I was about to cry. Then my friend embraced me and held me. It was soothing and I felt safe, protected and very loved.

My wish came true. I held a baby girl and was held lovely by another woman. Now my life starts to have meaning!

 

More on love and healing Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

 

 

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 48 other followers