My Daughter Hates Me – Part 2

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My Daughter Hates Me – Part 2

Camilla, my daughter has a nervous breakdown and I am desperate to find out why. I want a solution, and went to a counselor. Relating this counselor my story I was told that my daughter is reacting in a rebellious way to me in order to get a grip on her own life as an adult person. So I told the counselor that Camilla, my daughter is past 30 now and should have been an adult for some years now, for crying out loud!

From these sessions I got the funny feeling I did something wrong in raising my daughter, but I don’t understand what and why, since my baby girl Camilla always needed my protection and firm guidance to survive in this harsh world.

But whatever may be the case, I want my Camilla back!

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My Daughter Hates Me – Part 1

Mother-Daughter-Relationships

My Daughter Hates Me – Part 1

My daughter Camilla has a nervous breakdown and I can’t understand what happened. She was always a good girl, never disagreed with me, never complained or anything. But now she is saying terrible things to me. She says that I ruined her life and that I am selfish and kept her from getting a job and having a social life and having a boyfriend.

To be sure I never encouraged Camilla to work because she has always been weak and sickly and emotionally timid, shy and introvert. There was no financial pressure for her to have a job and so I thought it would be better for her to stay at home and help out when she could. To make her life easier. But now she is criticizing me for it. All over sudden she changed into a stranger who yells at me that she hates me.

I really don’t understand this and am desperate for a solution!

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My Mom’s Hands

My Mom’s Hands

My Mom’s hands are soft when consoling her crying, tearful daughter,

My Mom’s hands are firm when taking care of household chores,

My Mom’s hands are talkative when relating to my Dad,

My Mom’s hands are tough when dealing with trespassers of any kind,

My Mom’s hands are sad and weak when my Granny passed away….

My mom’s hands are happy, soft and graceful when she hears me telling her that I love her.

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Relating to Happiness?

Relating to Happiness?

Holiday season is coming up. Family gatherings, being together, sharing a big, special meal, feeling connected like a real family…..This supposed to be normal and I think most people have a family and warm place to go to coming months.

For me….I don’t know. My family, my mother… they don’t make me feel warm inside at all, rather thinking of my mother gives me a cold feeling inside my chest.

It’s so sad.

To see a lot of happy people but I just don’t understand how they get to feeling so happy. It’s hard for me to relate to that feeling, to this illusive thing called happiness.

I wish for me to feel more happy, I crave it, I long for it, yet I know I just don’t have that family that makes me happy.

Maybe I don’t deserve it. Call it bad karma. Maybe it’s just not in the cards for me.

Yet I wish, I wish, oh I wish, I had this warm mother who would be able to like me, and take as I am. And maybe love me?

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Mom, Why??? – Part 2

Mom, Why??? – Part 2

Can I blame my mishaps and my very, very unlucky life on Mum?

No, of course not!

I should take responsibility for my own life.

Can Mum blame her miserable life on her Mum?

Yes, and she does exactly that.

How unfair!

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Mom, Why? – Part 1

Mom, Why? – Part 1

I seem to be living in a strange dream…

Driving me like a whirlwind of painful emotions,

A course no one can follow,

A destiny no one can foresee,

Mom, why have you left me?

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Crossing the Silent River of Change

Crossing the Silent River of Change

What should I do?

I am in a panic mode. Just got word that my mother is very ill. Well what about it, you may think. The problem is that I have not spoken nor seen my mother for almost thirty years. Yes, three zero!

Bad stuff happened between me and my father and my mother never took responsibility for what happened to me, her daughter. So I vowed never ever to speak to her again and never ever to contact her again.

Now almost thirty years later, I actually am getting ready to tell her my truth. Yes I want to let her know my side of the story, but now she is dying

So many strong emotions are being triggered by the news that she is sick. So many images of the past come to life in my mind.

Am I too late to get things in order with my mother? So much unfinished business between her and me. What should I do now?!

More on bringing daughters closer to their mothers and Mother-Daughter-Relationships…

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